Everythings okay in the end!
by xXxSecretdesirexXx
Summary: Full title. EVERYTHINGS OKAY IN THE END, IF ITS NOT OKAY ITS NOT THE END. formorlly known as ALMOST PERFECT. Bella and Edward have been bestfriends for five years, but what happens when Bella cant deal with just being friends?
1. Chapter 1

**_hey guys well girls, although im more than aware there are fellas on fanfiction too.. Anyway this chapter is actually based on true life events.. Hence why its so weird at the begining, but after reading over it, I thought it was fit for fanfiction... Anyway, I dont know whats going to happen in this story as I dont know whats happening with me and the person I based this story on.. so either way enjoy and Il update soon. PROMISE... jenxxxxxx_**

Id often wondered what it was like to lose a friend to lose the one person you truly cared for and believed you loved. I never knew it was going to happen to me one day and when it did happen all I registered was the pain and the unfamiliar feelings I had going true me.

My friends had always told me they taught him to be a jerk an idiot and any other offensive name he could have been called. I on the other hand could only see the goodness in him as he had cared for me given me advice when I needed it. After five years of being friends he was like a big brother figure to me and I loved him for it, only I didn't know you could love someone so much and they not love you back.

I sat in my room after I wrecked that all important friendship. I wouldn't let myself cry not over him and not over something as stupid as offending his mother in a text message which was only a simple opinion but unfortunately this was the text that he was going to over-react to.

I never knew asking some-one to go somewhere could result so badly for me. I knew he wouldn't go but I made matters worst by saying that it was probably his mother thinking that going out would be a distraction and that instead he would have to sit at home and baby-sit his baby brother and so he was 17 and had no social life.

At the time I didn't think it was that bad, I was just being honest and as a result I lost the one person I cared about the one person I thought that no matter what went wrong in my life hed always be in it and that was my mistake.

You might say that I depended to much on him, like he kept the many broken pieces of me together and to a certain extent he did. He knew how to make me laugh, knew what was going on in my life and I could trust him with anything no matter how big or small it was.

I often pondered what my life would be like once he know longer occupied that space I had dedicated to him and now I knew I was destitute and would never truly be happy without him and that Id always have to settle for second best.

When he had left my life collapsed but I refused to give up, I knew that would make me weak and I couldn't deal with that on top everything else.

He was my rock my safe haven but he never understood how much I needed him to survive or how hard breathing was for me when he wasn't around.

I know most of you are thinking this is my fault and you should have just kept your mouth shut and you'd still have him but what would you do? Pretend you didn't care he wasn't going, pretend you had someone else to ask well he knew I didn't so why bother to pretend. Honesty is the best key right??

I sat in my room looking at the one picture of us together. The way we stood suggested there was something more but there wasn't, just too friends one more depended on the other. I wondered if the tables were reversed and I was the one insulted by him would I have reacted this way and I really hoped not, I hoped I was more mature than that, able to see things from his point of view. But right now I was just struggling to get by without him, having already apologized I didn't know what else I could do.

Clearly he hated me, didn't he??

What no one understood was that Edward and I were like ying and yang well in my opinion we were. There would always be that pull between us. Even if we tried to fight against it, we would eventually go back to each other. It had happened many times and I was always the one to apologize but this time was different. I wasn't going to cave. I had apologized by text instead of ringing and I knew it was unlikely hed except but what more could I do beg for forgiveness. Fucking unlikely. I wasn't that girl. I used to be but not any more he had taught me not to compromise myself. Well why would I do it now? I needed him and I believe he needed me so why was this so hard? Why couldn't we just go back to being Bella and Edward?

Friends had always said we'd get married, now that just seemed so wrong. I couldn't even think about it. It just hurt to much. I knew he hadn't told anyone about what when down. It wasn't his style. His family knew obviously but I couldn't prevent that.

I spend the weekend moping and venting and sitting in my room and listening to songs that reminded me of him. Pathetic I know but I really couldn't help it. I felt closer to him that way. School was going to be hell and Gah BIOLOGY fuck it. Awkward silences or was he going to pretend like nothing was wrong. God my nightmares were nothing compared to what Monday would be like.

I woke earlier than usual but I got ready anyway. I dressed in my favourite blue jeans and a pale blue blouse that made me look great (Well Edward thought it did). I brushed my hair and pulled it up into a high ponytail. I had taken to wearing make-up over the years and this always took awhile. I ditched the eye-liner and mascara incase I ended up crying but in all I looked all right. I put on my favourite hat and left.

I arrived at school earlier than usual but I really wasn't that concern at least he wasn't here let. I went to my locker and pulled out the books I needed for my first three Classes and then I saw it. My picture of Edward from my sixteen birthday. God he was fine. I didn't want to have to look at that every time I opened my locker so I pulled it down and placed it on the locker beside mine. It was Edwards. I swear you think I would have predicted something like this. Good things don't last for ever. Well they might for other people but not me. I wasn't that fortunate.

I was gone to class before he had arrived and was relieved I only had Biology with him. However trying to avoid Alice would be trickier. I had Spanish with Alice first thing. Trying to get around Edwards sister always proved hard for me. She knew just as much about me as Edward did. Except she knew a more important secret that he would now never know. I was in love with Edward.

I sat and waited for her to arrive. She didn't take that long she arrive two minutes after me and the classroom was empty. Great I needed witnesses' like. This probably wasn't going to go well. I was not going to be the first to speak as she'd probably accuse me of butting across her.

"Bella?" she pulled out the chair beside me. I acknowledged her but other than that I didn't speak.

"Edward told me what you said, And I'm shocked, you know he gets in trouble for trying to spend time with you.." I knew that but still I wasn't in the mood to be bitched at.

"That's great now you can hate me too. I'm aware he goes out of his way to spend time with me but Alice he's seventeen Esme can't protect him forever."

"I know you have a point Bella and I understand that, but Edward loves her he's her protector he'd do anything for her, even stop being friends with you if its what best" I knew this but again I didn't want to acknowledge it. Edward put Esme before everyone and I was getting sick of it maybe that's why I was continuing this fight when already it should have ended.

"Maybe that's what I want! I can't always be second best to your mother Alice. I know that's selfish but I can't help it. You don't know what it's like to have the one person you want throw you aside in favour of his mother" I could feel the tears in my eyes and was glad to have gone without mascara.

"Oh Bella, I see what you mean" Alice had me cradled in her arms. I couldn't console myself. Just then Ms. Goff walked in.

"Bella are you alright?"

"No , could I be excused?"

"Of course dear. If your not back in ten minutes I'll send Alice to you I assume you'll be in the bathroom" I nodded and left the room. I was aware Edward saw me on his way to class but I just made my way to the bathroom. I went to one of the stalls and grabbed some toilet paper and began carefully dabbing my eyes.

I noticed the door open slightly.

"Bella are you okay?" Edwards voice floated into the bathroom.

"Fine" I lied. He walked in moments later but I didn't acknowledge him.

"You don't look fine" His eyes ran over my face and I sniffled.

"Ah well I can't look perfect all the time." I wiped my eyes again as I spoke.

"No one expects you to."

"Can you stop being so fucking nice? I insulted you and so you insulted me right back or do you not remember the messages you sent me? Incase you don't I'm ugly and idiotic and also I'm not allowed to tell you what I'm thinking in fear of you flipping out at me." I ranted unable to contain myself.

"Bella I was angry, Of course what you think is important to me, I just wished you wouldn't think some things but sometimes shit like that can't be prevented" Just then Alice walked in.

"Oh sorry Ms. Goff is coming in ten minutes Bella. So whatever your saying. Id advise you say it fast." she spoke quickly and noticed I was still crying and nodded.

"Edward you know your one of the most confusing people on the planet" He smiled.

"Don't I know it."

"You see the thing is, what's going to prevent you from flipping at me next time I say something you don't like and so I'll always have that fear and I can't do it. I can't hurt you and then in turn hurt myself. I hope you can understand and if you can't I hope one day you will" I hopped down from the sink ledge.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and leant my head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Edward" I walked away leaving him frozen in the girls bathroom.

"Is he okay?" Alice asked as soon as I left the bathroom.

"No, go talk to him tell him to go home and that you'll be there after this class" she was back in record time.

"Ms. Goff awaits and Alice don't tell him I'm in love with him and that's why I did what I did. I cant hurt him again. So I can't be friends with him if this doesn't kill him eventually something I do will"

I knew Alice taught I was being dramatic but I wasn't, I wasn't good for Edward and it took me five years to see this.


	2. Tanya

_ Full title: Everythings okay in the end, if its not okay then its not the end_

_ written by: xXxsecretdesirexXx_

_ Compliments to: Delaware forever for the new title of this story  
_

**hey guys this is chapter two, hehe.. also Im not having this story beta-d so if you see any mistakes point them out so they can be rectified.. Also this chapter is pure fiction, sorta! Il finished the rest of that sentence at the end... enjoy..Also thanks to Delaware forever for the new name of this story..  
**

Chapter 2.

I didn't go to my next class either. I drove home faster than I should. I knew Charlie was patrolling the streets during the day and he'd kill me if he caught me. But I couldn't stay there I had to leave and cry at the revelation I had made. I wasn't good for Edward I repeated this over and over in my head and each time it hurt more and more.

I was stupid what was I thinking? But if this meant Edward and I would never hurt over each other again maybe it was a good thing. Maybe it really was for the best maybe?

I didn't go to school the next day or the day after or the day after that. It was then Charlie realized something was wrong and what did he do? He called Alice and she came. Why did she come? Did that mean Edward hadn't reacted like I did. Didn't he care? Then I found myself crying again.

Of course he wasn't as effected by this he didn't love me, he loved himself. He probably knew I was at home crying but still what did I expect from him. As I told him and repeatedly told myself he wasn't my knight in shining armour nor would he ever be.

"Oh Bella" Alice threw herself at me and hugged me in an attempt to make me feel better. We didn't speak and so the silence lingered on until it grew uncomfortable.

"Alice how is he?" I asked as soon as I was capable of speech.

"As well as can be expected"

"What does that mean?" I asked clearly not understanding.

"Well he gets up in the morning attends school and speaks when spoken to other than that he lives in his room and if your name comes up in conversation he immediately finds away to leave."

"God Alice, I though I was doing the right thing, I taught it would be better for both of us" I said through sobs.

"Bella, you didn't know what was to be expected" she soothed.

"Alice, I need to go out for awhile! Can you go to Rosalie's and I'll be there in an hour" I spoke as I grabbed suitable clothes. I wasn't going to show up in a trackie.

"Ok Bella, Em where are you going?"

"I have to get Charlie's dinner it's easier to get it now and I must post something" I lied but she didn't notice.

"I'll see you in an hour" she said as she got into her car before she spoke to Rosalie on the phone.

I drove faster than I though was possible for me. I knew Esme wasn't at home and silently I prayed he wasn't either. How unlucky I was. I pulled up beside his Volvo.

I still had my key and walked straight into his house although I knew I shouldn't.

I was outside his room counting to ten in my head trying to calm down when I heard it or more her.

"So who's this Bella chick?" I didn't recognize the voice.

"She's just some girl who I used to be friends with" that was my queue I felt rather confrontational ' just some girl' was I?.

I walked in to see, some slutty strawberry blonde lying half naked on his bed.

"Bella" he spoke with authority.

"Edward I need , actually I want my stuff and No I didn't bring yours with me you can collect it just give me an hours notice so I wont be home" I smiled.

"Your over-reacting" He smirked.

"Clearly" spoke the woman on the bed.. I decided I might as well speak to the bitch now. I turned to look at her and stuck out my hand for her to shake it.

"Hi I'm just some girl who Edward used to be friends with" I saw him grimaced in the corner of my vision.

"Tanya" she replied.

"Bella but you already know that I see" as I gestured to the numerous pictures surrounding his room.

"So how long have you know Edward?" I asked actually interested.

"Yesterday" he had slept with her and he'd known her a day. I ran to his en-suite and threw up repeatedly until there was nothing left in my stomach.

"Bell's you alright?" He called from outside the door.

"Fine, take care off Princess over there, I'll be out in a minute" I stayed in there possibly longer than I should have But I couldn't move.

I walked out after Id fixed myself and righted my hair. I was surprised to find Tanya gone.

"So she's pretty" I said.

"Not really" He frowned. This was awkward but I needed to know either way.

"Why'd you sleep with her so?" I asked and he looked away embarrassed.

"Edward?" I questioned.

"She was a distraction and probably will be again"

"Why?" I asked not getting it.

"You" was all that came out through his lips.

"That's not true and you know it" I said in a whisper but I was aware he could hear.

"How would you know you never asked?" He was getting angry I could tell from the way his lips twitched.

"Fine so Edward Cullen how do you feel about me and anything that has got to do with me?" I asked trying to feign boredom but I knew he knew me better.

"I taught I loved you and vice-versa until you shattered my heart and gave up on me and I hate your friend Mike he's always looking at your chest or your lips lustfully and I don't like it" He raged. . Angry Edward was so erotic and I knew I shouldn't be thinking about Sex right now but I just couldn't help it.

"Yeah well it's not like you did anything to change that I've known you five years and you over looked the situation all the time. I loved you and still love you, always will but you don't get it. I cant be second best to your mother Edward it's not fair and I know what you go through but I have never once put Charlie before you I could but I know it would hurt you as it does me."

"Bella if you love me why did you push me away?"

"It's better for both of us this way neither of us will hurt over the other again. It's not that I'm not prepared to hurt for you but Fuck it Edward I don't see it changing anytime soon" A tear slid down my cheek and his hand brushed it away.

"Bella I really am sorry I never meant to hurt you. I didn't know it effected you this much if I had I never would have compromised you this way"

"Edward I'm sorry too, I love you at least you know that right?"

"Yeah Bell's I love you too" Then for the first time in five years he kissed me. But it wasn't the kiss I had been waiting for. It was safe and cautioned and it didn't feel right so I pulled away.

"Edward" His forehead was resting against mine.

"Why did you really sleep with Tanya?" I knew I shouldn't ask as it would hurt me but I wanted to know.

"I was hurt and she was nothing like you I wanted to forget but it didn't work I just kept picturing you under me" Okay not want I wanted to hear. I began to blush.

"Oh god Bella that sounded terrible"

"No it didn't, just unexpected that's all" I smiled "You really wanted it to be me?" I asked as soon as I regained my control and collected my thoughts.

"Well yeah!" He looked away slightly embarrassed.

"How long?"

"What?" he looked confused.

"How long have you liked me?" I asked noting the blush on his cheeks.

"Two years I guess since you were fifteen or maybe a little before that you?"

"Always" I smiled.

"Then why didn't you say something you ninny?" I looked up at him.

"rejection which would lead to disappointment which in turn would lead to us not being friends which would lead to hurt and crying"

"Oh Bella" he pulled me into a bear tight hug that was causing me difficulty to breath.

"Edward trust me, it's no longer a big deal like I have you don't I?"

"Always" I looked at the clock and realized that I was late Alice and Rosalie would kill me.

"Fuck I got to go" I went to kiss him and he caught my wrists as I went to leave.

"Where?" He whispered against my skin

"Alice, Rosalie" I mumbled back.

"So?" He looked up at me from beneath thick eyelashes.

"Come with me" I suggested, Alice would freak if I stood her up, it was my suggestion like.

"Kay As long as you don't leave me again it will be ok" he smiled.

"Never" I promised.

I arrived at Rosalie's to find her and Alice sitting on the step smiling as Edward and I approached them holding hands.

"So?" Alice mused.

"Em well I didn't really go to the supermarket"

"I knew that before I left your house"

"So why didn't you tell me about Tanya?" I asked slightly irritated.

"Em who?" She shot daggers at Edward.

"Doesn't matter anyway I went to your house and the end result is well this. Details later can't embarrassed Edward" I smiled and he blushed. I knew Id have to ask him what I was to say about Tanya my least favourite person on the planet right now.

The rest of the day past from mortifying question to mortifying question and back again. I must admit I really should have left Edward at home but I couldn't bare be away from him at least not now. I know it looked like I was needy but I was.

**Yup chapter two, anyway I never got with my friend as yes he was interested in another girl... Sob but were still bestfriends lol**

**Jenxxxxxxx  
**


	3. E

**_hey guys.. well heres chapter three,, after this its probably going to be a good while til I update cuz I have my pres in like a month.. n Il be damned if I dont get on well... So enjoy.. N review..... jenxxxxxxx_**

Chapter three.

For the rest of the week, Edward and I were inseparable.

Jessica Stanley was like a running commentary of our relationship to anyone who cared to listen. It seemed like everyone had always pictured us together well except mike.

"I don't like it Bella he's not good enough for you" he looked into my eyes as I shuddered this was like the tenth conversation we'd had about this.

"then who is Mike?" I asked trying to pretend I was interested. It has been a week why wouldn't he just let go?

"Me" He mumbled. I looked up to see him staring at me.

"Mike, it was never like that for us, I mean think of Jessica. She totally loves you why not go out with her?"

"I guess just remember Cullen hurt you before, there is always a chance he could do it again" He had a point but Edward wouldn't.

"No he wont" I walked away uncertain maybe he would to make me see what I had put him through. Why did Mike have to say that?

For the rest of the day. A constant amount of uncertainties ran through my mind. Would me and Edward fight again? Would we make up. Would we hurt each other? What if we did?

He knew there was something bugging me but he didn't say anything he just continued to watch me as if I were so fragile that one touch and I'd break. It was exactly eight o clock when he cracked.

"Bella what's wrong?" He asked clearly worried.

"Nothing" I lied but he knew me too well.

"Please Bella your scaring me" I decided to spill, the look in his eyes was more than enough to convince me.

"Mike Newton said something about you today about you hurting me and I know you wouldn't. I just couldn't help think that maybe I might hurt you again" I was crying now. The tears flowing down my cheeks as he brushed them away.

"Bella ignore him he's a jerk, I know you wouldn't and you know I'd never intentionally hurt you" He looked straight into my eyes.

"Of course" I smiled and I gently kissed his lips in reassurance for not just him but me.

I still couldn't help doubting myself around Edward now. I was extra cautious and I'm sure he knew I was doing it because of Mike but I was surprised he didn't say anything.

Weirdly enough my mind wandered to Tanya, I wondered what had happened to her.

"Edward can I've your phone for a minute?" I asked sweetly I wondered did he notice the sickly tone adorning my voice.

"Why?"

"You've that song I want" I replied nonchantly

"Oh ok" He passed the phone to me while I went to retrieve my own phone from the kitchen.. It wasn't long until I found what I was looking for. Edwards text messages. I knew snooping was wrong but I couldn't help it. Was I really prepared to open his inbox it took me a few moments and I finally clicked the open button, and there it was confirming my suspicions, the top three text messages were from Tanya asking when she could see him again..

I couldn't help the tears that escaped my eyes, I walked slowly back in the living room where I had left Edward

"I think you should go home" I asked as more tears spilled from my eyes.

"Why" I threw the phone at him and quickly made my way to my room, banging the door as I flung myself onto the bed.

"Bella" He pushed open the door.

"Please just let me explain"

"I don't want to hear it Edward, Mike was right, you would hurt me"

"But I didn't even do anything" He replied slightly angry.

"Edward you slept with her and your still in contact with her, I thought you loved me" I sobbed.

"Bella I do love you, Obviously I love you, how could you doubt that?" He was on the bed beside me and I took a quick glance in his direction and could see tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

"You, Her, why didn't you just text her back and tell her you have a girlfriend?"

"I did, she wont listen, I thought it would be better if I did it in person, I was going to ask you to come with me, I was just waiting for the right moment, I knew you were upset, I just didn't think it was Mike and his previous statement about me that still had you upset"

"Edward, Im sorry, I don't even know what got into me, Im a horrible person, I cant believe I went snooping through your phone, I suck at being your girlfriend" I was full out bawling now, I wasn't even sure if he even heard me.

"Don't say that Bella, you're the best thing in my life, I should have known you were feeling insecure and yet I did nothing to reassure you. It me who should be sorry"

"Edward, don't say that, I shouldn't have doubted you, I'm sorry and if you still want me to go with you to see Tanya if would be my pleasure" I smiled reassuringly wiping away the tears that were pouring down my cheeks.

"Of course B" I smiled and he took it as the opportune moment to hug me. It only took me a few minutes to realise he called me B. where did that come from? He had never called me B.

"Edward why did you suddenly call me B?" I asked slightly intrigued.

"Because its stands for Beautiful but I can get away with it cause your names also Bella" He smirked.

"Okay E, and Im not telling you what that stands for and no its not Edward"


End file.
